Can we develop Bond like levels of charisma and self confidence, Olivia Fox Cabane believes she has created the formula to tap into this near mystical state of influence. In her book The Charisma Myth, she explores the keys tools you need to become more charming, self assured and magnetic in every situation. The word charisma literally means someone who has a connection to the gods, somebody who can reach into the numinous or unseen world and bring back messages. So if you really want to be more charismatic, here are the skills you can develop.
“Because human beings are such fantastic lie detectors—and we do detect micro-expressions as fast as 17 milliseconds—you can’t fake charisma,” says Olivia Fox Cabane, author of The Charisma Myth
A GIFT OF PRESENCE
Of all the mental aspects of charisma, “Because so few of us are ever fully present, if you can manage even a few moments of full presence from time to time, you’ll make quite an impact,” during a conversation, Cabane says in The Charisma Myth, “Try to regularly check whether your mind is fully engaged or preparing your next sentence.” Ask questions with intensity, and listen with more intensity. The power of genuine focus on other people will make you mesmerizing.
The best selling author continues
“Anyone without compassion ultimately doesn’t have real charisma. Nobody stays interested in you if you really don’t care about them.”
True charisma is basically when you disappear and allow something loving to come through you for the other person.
CONFIDENCE TO SPARE
It’s hard to be charming if you feel anxious. “When our internal voice starts criticizing us, lashing out, it can feel like we’re under attack,” Cabane writes. And just as in a physical assault, you can experience a fight-or-flight. As your heart pumps faster and “intelligent thinking shuts down” Bye-bye, charisma. In the hours before you hit the clubs, enjoy an activity you do well, and by all means, listen to music that revs you up like the Bond Theme played on your iphone with earphone before you enter a bar.
WHAT FLAVOR ARE YOU?
You will be more charismatic if you embrace the traits that come most readily to you. Though charisma is always a mix of presence, warmth and power, Cabane says, that mix is different for everyone. The Dalai Lama’s charisma is different from Colin Powell’s. Essentially you can not mimic another person’s charisma. People become magnetic when they’re communicating something that’s so pure, which is their absolute enthusiasm. And this is attractive to everyone.”
“Fox Cabane’s distinct writing style…makes reading each chapter both informational and fun. Each exercise is practical and easy…If you are interested in increasing your ability to be charismatic in your unique setting or employment, this book will give you direct skills to use”
” The Charisma Myth is an easy read, effectively integrating stories and research, strategies and applications, techniques and practices.”
New York Journal Of Books
“Cabane has done a masterful job of pulling together scientific findings and personal insights to present a coherent and compelling view of charisma. This book is engaging, clear, and chock-full of wisdom, practical recommendations, and uncommonly good sense.”
Stephen M. Kosslyn, director, Stanford University Center for Advanced Study in the Behavioral Sciences
“Cabane has done us a big favor. She’s woven solid science and engaging narrative into an instructive treatment of the role of charisma in leadership-a topic that (until now) we only poorly understood.”
Robert B. Cialdini, author of Influence: Science and Practice