Ever meet someone and think, “My God, their presence is just electric.”? Its got to be chemical, right? Nope. Well maybe their mind is just hardwired differently. Not quite that either. Surely it has to be something one is born with. Yeah… no. Contrary to popular belief, charisma is something you can actually learn. And work on a little more each day. It essentially boils down to learned behaviour.Here’s how you can become more charismatic:

Everyone’s favorite Word

The one word everyone loves is the sound of their own name. Pepper every conversation with the use of their name. Harvard research has also indicated that speaking about oneself stimulates the same parts of the mind as great food and sex. If you want to be loved, then forget about yourself. Nobody wants you to interupt them when they want to talk about themselves. This sadly is a fact of life. So if you want to be remembered then you have to talk less and listen more.

Engage in their conversation, not yours

This encompasses a few things. Eye contact. Lack of fidgeting. Remembering details about an anecdote, person etc. Actually having an interest in what is being said, and delving further into the heart of what is being said. Next time you see somebody be sure to recall elements from the things that previous said. Ask them follow up questions.

Open Up

All animals reduce in size when the feel nervous, so to show you own the room, open up. In addition to eye contact, keeping your arms unfolded and torso in the same direction as someone you are interacting with apparently has some scientific backing to it. But from a common sense stance, it just shows you aren’t being reserved and are willing to be approached.

Build Rapport

Act like you are a mirror to their movements, if done correctly this is the greatest lifestyle you may learn. This is another strange one backed by science. And no, don’t go overboard with it. It isn’t a drama class game. Basically, when people sync up on a social level, mirroring of body language indicates trust and safety. Crossing of legs, sipping of a drink, brushing back of the hair. Just make sure to do it in moderation.

Don’t hide your smile

Kind of a given, but one I have always struggled with. But for those of you who aren’t really smiley people, just refrain from frowning or having too neutral of an expression. As someone with a hereditary bitchy resting face, I know the struggle. So don’t worry.

Use NLP

Different people have a predominately different sense they use when speaking. Some people See things clearly, other feel things. Language is the easiest route to being relatable to someone. Figure out which sense is their key languistic pattern and use it too. Direct and concrete terms that appeal to the gut rather than the brain will go far.

Side note: you should also apparently talk about your ambitions and future rather than your accomplishments. People love other who have a bright future.

Mark Evans
Author

Mark is a serial entrepreneur and lives out of his rucksack, and a battered powerbook where he runs several online businesses. When he is not developing ideas he is also a freelance journalist for Huffington Post, GQ and Penthouse.

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