The word charisma literally means someone who has a connection to the gods, somebody who can reach into the numinous or unseen world and bring back messages. So if you really want to be more charismatic, here are the skills you can develop. Olivia Fox Cabane studied the charismatic leaders of the world and filter the essense of what is charisma and more importantly how one can get some
“Because human beings are such fantastic lie detectors—and we do detect micro-expressions as fast as 17 milliseconds—you can’t fake charisma,” says Olivia Fox Cabane, author of The Charisma Myth
A GIFT OF PRESENCE
Of all the mental aspects of charisma, “Because so few of us are ever fully present, if you can manage even a few moments of full presence from time to time, you’ll make quite an impact,” during a conversation, Cabane says in The Charisma Myth, “Try to regularly check whether your mind is fully engaged or preparing your next sentence.” Ask questions with intensity, and listen with more intensity. The power of genuine focus on other people will make you mesmerizing.
The best selling author continues, “Anyone without compassion ultimately doesn’t have real charisma. Nobody stays interested in you if you really don’t care about them.” True charisma is basically when you disappear and allow something loving to come through you for the other person.
CONFIDENCE TO SPARE
It’s hard to be charming if you feel anxious. “When our internal voice starts criticizing us, lashing out, it can feel like we’re under attack,” Cabane writes. And just as in a physical assault, you can experience a fight-or-flight. As your heart pumps faster and “intelligent thinking shuts down” Bye-bye, charisma. In the hours before you hit the clubs, enjoy an activity you do well, and by all means, listen to music that revs you up like the Bond Theme played on your iphone with earphone before you enter a bar.
WHAT FLAVOR ARE YOU?
You will be more charismatic if you embrace the traits that come most readily to you. Though charisma is always a mix of presence, warmth and power, Cabane says,
“that mix is different for everyone. The Dalai Lama’s charisma is different from Colin Powell’s. Essentially you can not mimic another person’s charisma. People become magnetic when they’re communicating something that’s so pure, which is their absolute enthusiasm. And this is attractive to everyone.”